We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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