I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
