"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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