Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
