the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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