I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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