Do you still have your period?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
