This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
