maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
