I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
