This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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