Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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