it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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