I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
