butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
