you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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