I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
