I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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