There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
