but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just forgot I was standing up.
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