How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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