after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize