You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize