pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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