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As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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