i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
