The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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