Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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