Will you blow on my dice?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
