If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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