Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
