Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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