then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
