my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize