I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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