i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize