it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
