i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
