Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
