Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
