why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need a beard to bite.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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