if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
