I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
