That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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