A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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