I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
