i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
