thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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