I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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