What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
