I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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