Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
