When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
