Where did you get a picture of my penis
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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