We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize